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Body Unpolitic - Part 33

By Dishonourable Ember
A successful and profitable New Year to all our readers. Welcome back to our irreverent column on affairs of our country.

One of our weeklies recently screamed that the City of Windhoek is teetering on the edge of bankruptcy. Now, with my absolute brilliance, I see two obvious solutions that may save the city fathers and mothers some embarrassment.

Both involve the statues that may cause umbrage. One of them the horseman - has already been banished to the backyard of history and the AlteFeste. The other, that of Curt von Francois, still graces the (nowadays green) lawn of the municipality. Now the horseman and old Curt both weigh about a 2 tonnes .... They are hollow as hollow as so many promises by sundry people.

At the current price of copper (about N$70 per kg), the two would be worth about N$140 000.00. Not all that much.....

Better idea. With much controversy , we have managed to raise more than N$3, 7 million for an old, pensioned-off rhino. So, why not auction off the horseman AND Curt to some willing collector (some rabid Kraut fancier maybe) of historic memorabilia. Who knows; they may be worth a mint! UNAM has taken a bold step which I think will pay off handsomely in the year to come. I actually wonder why somebody has not come up with the idea well before this year. They are offering Chinese (Mandarin) language courses.

This writer can think of few other courses (outside the mainstream of studies, of course) that will be as profitable (in all senses of the word) as these being offered now. For many of our students it will probably be: "If you can't beat them, join them".

Anyway, our leaders will now soon have persons who can understand what our comrades from the Middle Kingdom have to linguistically convey to us. So, if you want to say more than "Ni Hao", in an atrocious accent, here is something to invest in.

I will never this side of heaven or hell understand our opposition parties. Their existence is already so precarious and they are hanging on by the skin of their teeth for some tiny bit of justification for their existence and they still have palace revolutions.

The latest telling example of this is the case of the DTA where the old war horse is chomping on his bit and does not want to admit that he now counts as old iron and has been sidelined since last election. He should retire to his farm and quietly rust in peace. It is obvious that the young turk will flex his political muscle and endeavor to eliminate some of the useless appendages who have done nothing for the party since independence but leech. It is time for somebody new.

But no! The geriatric one stumbles off to court and wastes more money hopefully not that of the party they already have nothing.

I saw some figures recently on the social media (I think) which claim that prices in South Africa are up to 27.69% lower than in Namibia (especially housing!). There is something rather fishy should this be true. Isn't it about time that housing especially for the younger and/or first-time buyer actually became affordable ... who is wallowing in the riches? Who has more money than common sense ... wait I am withdrawing that .... Some don't even have enough sense to buy a single sigarette or half a bread... Bye for now


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Windhoek, Katutura