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Anuwa?

By M'kwanailya wa Mweuta
Analysis of Zim Election from 'I Am Selling's point of view: Elections in Zimbabwe came and went and scribers are still looking for answers on why Zimbabweans gave President Robert Mugabe the seventh five year term to rule the country.

Having heard the opinions of political analysts on why ZANU PF won, I was not convinced so I confronted one the many "I am Selling" as Zimbabweans are commonly known in Namibia. He introduced himself as Prosper "but back home we are called Makorokoza which literarily means "Gold pannier" a term used for anyone working or selling outside the country. I am a proud Makorokoza cause I earn higher than a Professor back in Zimbabwe.

I asked him whether he could confirm the rigging of elections stories. He said "elections are not rigged in Zimbabwe per se but, elders vote under duress". When I asked him to elaborate he narrated an incident apparently in Tsholotsho North Constituency where in 2008 the ruling party got only 2085 votes against an independent candidate who obtained 3532. After that election Anuwa, officials from the ruling party government called for a meeting to discuss "developmental issues".

On display Anuwa was a heap of dictionaries. Before the commencement of the meeting an announcement was made that last elections were recorded by a computer and the thick books ( hard cover dictionaries ) on the high table contained names and pictures of all those who voted for the oppositions parties. To save time of going through the thick books, all those who voted for the opposition better stand up and confess their sins. They should also promise that they will never do it again come next election.

Anuwa those who were not familiar with the capabilities of a computer and have voted for opposition party paraded themselves and vow not to do it again. Thereafter, the meeting started! I asked him whether he went to vote this time and that is when I realised I opened a can of worms.

In his eloquent Queen's Language soaked in Shona accent he started lecturing me. "I did not go, even if was there I would not have voted for anybody. Uncle Bob did nothing wrong. But he over stayed. Those who voted for Morgan Tsvangirai want change for the sake of change".

"Aah (seeking for words) but Tsvangarai lacks credibility. He has no political history neither any academic qualification. Zimbabwe is a nation of academics, how could we be ruled by a person who does not value education in this Information Technology era? Tsvangarai is a Grade 8 drop out!"

I tried to intervene for follow up questions, but the proud Makorokoza continues his tirade: "Tsvangarai was leaders of Labour Union who did nothing for the workers until he woke up one day and decided he want to be a president. And that was when he remembered that there were workers to take care of.

"At his rallies the slogan is "Mugabe must go! We always ask and then? He never spells out his alternative plan of actions after Mugabe."

"We are all what we are today because of Uncle Bob. He laid the foundation and we respect him for that." I managed to put across a question when I asked him that now that the elections are over will he go back and build his country? He continued:

"I am a Makorokoza and happy with what I am doing in Namibia". You guys are looking for office work. I am making N$10 000 a month for selling clothes from China Town and vegetables". I am building a mansion in my home town Masvingo. I will bring a picture one it is completed.

I asked Prosper to comment on the worsening of the economy. He became defensive and raised his voice:

Saying he cannot fix the economy but trust that those voted into power will do it. "I will not go. I will wait. It is an unstable situation there. It is not like here. In Zimbabwe, you wake up and hear the government has taken over Standard Bank".

"Problems in Zimbabwe are all external, fuelled by Britain". I interjected, saying I have heard that song before so I pressed for details.

"You Namibians are ignorant of our history and I have no more guts to explain. On a lighter note before he leaves he said he predicts that babies born after the elections will all be Victories, Elections, or Referendums. Anuwa Zimbabweans name their children after every prevailing situation in a country.

He was born five years after independence and was named Prosper. His siblings are Prudence, Prosperity, Harmony, Fortune and the last born who is 15 years old is called Hardlife!

But Zim under Mugabe is a great place to live in. He has redefined land politics in Africa more than anybody else. Zimbabweans are the happiest lot in Africa. They have reclaimed what truly belongs to them. Zimbabwe will never be a colony again.

Congrats Bob





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