By M'kwanailya wa Mweuta
The Unreleased, Unedited and the Real Health Status Report (just for your eyes)!
Commentators are hailing the
President for releasing publicly, the
recent Commission report into the
health status in the country. The
report has now hit the streets, and
some are even waging a concerted
campaign on social media, calling
for the firing of the line Minister.
That will be a first in this country;
it's more like finding water in the
world's oldest desert, the Namib.
Heads will never roll. Anyways,
Dr. Kamwi is one of the most energetic
and dedicated Ministers,
second only to the late Dr. Fish.
Plus, he inherited a system that was
bound to fail at some stage. Our
system has not kept itself in check,
in view of a rising population, the
brain drain in the sector, and the
not so impressive above-average
spending on health.
Notwithstanding the above
challenges, this column understands
that the recent report on the
state of health system in Namibia
is a watered-down and sugarcoated
version of the real situation
on the ground; it is the tip of the
In the name of your right to
know as guaranteed by your constitution,
M'kwanailya herewith brings you
the unreleased, unedited report on
the state of health system:
Disclaimer: Almost all the
nurses regard nursing as a part time
job. Their fulltime jobs are Multilevel
Marketers. They sell cosmetics;
food supplements tablets, Brazilian
hair, and Cook wares .etc.
Every nurse wants to work night
shifts in order to achieve their selling
targets during the day, because
their sleep is guaranteed during
their so-called nocturnal work at
our hospitals. Patients please beware
and do not wake up sleeping
dogs, the consequences might
warrant another inquiry.
Whilst all reasonable precautions
are taken to ensure the accuracy
and integrity of this report,
Anuwa accepts no liability however
arising or responsibility whatsoever
in case some nurses can
prove otherwise then what has
been stated above.
The following is an extract
from the unreleased report:
- Almost all the midwives
at public hospitals are females.
They have first hand experience
in giving birth and know
how painful it is. They are convinced
every expectant patient
coming to deliver is extremely terrified,
frightened and want to run
- Midwives consider "it
is coming!" (the baby) as the "anthem"
of their wards. So they take
their time and sometimes for ever
- to render services to these
"bangbroek" (cowards) and good
for nothing aspiring mothers.
- Midwives have been
trained in the art of convincing
pregnant mothers that it is not OK
to shout when in pain because
black women, know and feel no
- At hospital X a woman
was taking care of her late son who
was hospitalised. She left to buy
some necessities. Upon her return
the bed was empty and her son
was nowhere to be found. She inquired
from one of the nurses if
they have moved her son to another
room. Anuwa, the nurse replied
with an attitude "did you
check in the mortuary". Indeed her
son was there!
- At hospital Z a
woman gave birth, an episiotomy
was done. She later got stitched
to fix the procedure. Thirty minutes
later, she complained to the
midwife that the labour is still raging
on and she feel something
pushing in her body. She was told
its normal it will go away. After
two hours, on her insistence,
nurses found that she was carrying
twin and only one was delivered!
They rushed her to the theatre
and found a still born baby in
- At hospital Q nurse M
came to work "tipsy". He slept
all night long neglecting his
rounds and forgets to give medicine
to patients at 24:00. He was
not punished because the nurse
in charge did also not turn up that
These are just some of incidences
that quickly got my attention,
after perusing the report from
a senior civil servant's house
where the report is being kept (out
of fear that some inquisitive eyes
might release it to the eager
scribes). After this anecdotal evidence,
I spoke to my friend Veii,
about the state of our health system:
"Mbuae, what you are telling
me is nothing new. I never get surprised
at this horror stories. Just
the other day, my wife told me of
an alarming event at another
ward, where a young mother was
wrongly dispatched with the
'wrong' baby from the incubator.
Imagine, a dark-skinned baby for
a white family with kroes hare
nogal (typical ethnic black hair).
After several weeks, and stirs
from family and friends, and obviously
an irritated and suspicious
husband, the wife returned the
baby to the hospital. There was
no need for a DNA test; the nurses
on duty clearly saw what was
wrong with that picture."
I pressed him for some
evidence as this could just not
"You recall when we were
growing up, when you ask your
parents where babies come from,
after seeing sibling number 10 arrive
with a proud dad and mom,
with no knowledge of the bun in
the oven for 9 months,you would
hear all manner of stories. Some
include that a special bird drops
babies from heaven and others
that they are sold at the hospital.
Well, tell you what I also believe
that this special delivery bird
could get things wrong back in
the day. If you look at some siblings
in some families, they are
so far apart; it's like night and day.
And I just don't believe that all
women cheated on their husbands
to produce such alien babies.
They would have just been given
a wrong baby to take home."
Whether this is far-fetched or
not, I leave it up to you to decide.
But what we all agree is that
something urgent needs to be
done to improve our public health
system. It takes the same commitment
as shown by Dr. Deliver and
perhaps a Conference on Health,
so that all of us can change things
for the better!